The importance of identity

During the recent election for the next US president, there were a lot of expert opinions, debates and analyses by WhatsApp experts going around. 

In one of these recent debates, I witnessed a debate that went something like this. One member of the group criticised one of the candidates in the US election fray, saying that even though the candidate had her roots in India and was wooing Indian-American voters, she would be bad for Indian interests, given her stance on several issues bothering India at the moment. To this, one of the others answered that, the candidate's misadventures with India would be of no interest to them, and that there are several American issues that she would address well, which is enough to get her elected. 

The above opinion would have been nothing out of the ordinary, had this been said by an American. But this was said by someone who grew up in India, went to the US a couple of decades ago and became a naturalised US citizen, and who still has a large extended family back in India and keeps visiting India often to be with family. And she just said that what her former country is concerned about, is of no consequence to her. 

It was surreal to see this. It reminded me of another instance several years ago when a professional acquaintance, had referred to "Jana gana mana.." when speaking to her children, as "India's national anthem," and not "our national anthem" as parents usually refer it to their children. 

I'm not judging either of these people for their choices-- just that, the experience was so surreal. It was as if, some core element in our conversational semantics has suddenly been replaced with something else. Something that was so deep and fundamental, that we had considered axiomatic, was suddenly no longer so. 

What is that deep rooted element that has changed? It is our sense of Identity. Something that most of us don't even understand what it is and its impact on our lives, and give it up for short-term material benefits. 

Identity is the set of external entities-- including physical entities, ideas and concepts that we associate our sense of "self" with. In other words, the set of things we identify with-- psychologically we feel that they are part of us, or make us who we are. 

Psychologically, we are also hardwired for sustainability or upholding our sva-dharma. All our biological and psychological actions are fundamentally driven by the need for sustaining our sense of self for as long as possible. So what exactly are we striving to sustain? It is simply the set of all entities that we identify with. 

Our sense of self is something internal to us-- not an external entity. When we attach our sense of self to something external, we treat that external entity as something internal to us. Our caring for our sense of self is not driven by "rational" considerations like returns on investment, or utility. Our sense of self is the driver of our decisions-- and is not an external rational choice. We work for the interests of whatever we identify with, regardless of what it gives back to us. We don't stay with family only because they provide for us-- we stay with them through joy and sorrow, through sickness and health, and so on. Because at some level, they are part of our sense of self. This is also the reason why we grieve more when we lose a family member, versus when we lose some stranger. In the former case, it is as if we have lost some part of ourself, because they were part of our identity. 

All economic arguments and considerations can be thrown into the dustbin when our sense of identity is involved. 

Soldiers are indoctrinated with an intense and passionate sense of identity with their country-- which makes them even sacrifice their own lives to protect their country. Similarly, parents see their children as an extension of their own sense of self, and hence strongly identify with them, leading them to sacrifice their own comfort and economic well-being, for the well-being of their children. 

We literally surrender our lives to whatever it is we identify with. It is our sense of identity that brings us all the travails of our lives. Attaching our sense of self to something, without putting enough thought into it, may result in our lives becoming a psychological roller-coaster, and may result in identity crises leading to different forms of dissonance and disorders. 

The archetypal question "Who am I?" is precisely us questioning our identity-- or the set of all things that are driving us. Most of us go through this phase some time or the other in our lives, when we can't understand what is driving us-- prompting us to ask: Who am I?

Our sense of identity is the cause of all joy and misery in our lives. It is the reason why existential philosophers often advocate identifying our sense of self (Atman) with the entirety of the universe including its physical and conceptual realms (Brahman). Working on associating the entire universe with our sense of self, helps keep our equanimity. Nothing that happens in our lives will ever threaten the sustainability or dharma of the entire universe-- which is now our sense of self. 

But associating our sense of self with the entire universe, is easier said than done. It needs enormous practice, determination and focus, which very few of us manage to achieve. 

We can then safely assume that for most of us, our sense of self does not transcend too much beyond our worldly affairs. Some of the things we commonly identify with include: our houses, our cars, our children, our family, our religion, our language, our ethnicity, our country, and so on. These objects of identity are not as eternal as the universe. Sure, they may outlive us, but they still face existential crises. Religions get wiped out, countries get dismantled, cultural groups get diluted (which is why some cultural groups, deluded with a sense of "purity" lead very insular lives-- even inter-marrying within their cultural group, to prevent it from getting diluted). 

By attaching our sense of identity to some worldly entity, it is as if we have tightly attached ourselves to some large creature, like an elephant. We are affected by what happens to the elephant, but we may have little or no control over the elephant itself-- its preferences and actions. 

It is hence, very important to think deeply before identifying with some worldly entity. Do we understand the values and principles with which the entity functions? Do we know the entity's history well enough to understand what kinds of challenges it is going to face? Do we have enough clout over the entity to influence its actions? Are we prepared to remain attached with the entity through all its crises? Do we know how its crises would affect us? And worse, if we have strong links back to the elephant from which we thought we uprooted ourselves from, to attach ourselves to the other elephant, do we know how these two elephants interact? Where do we wish to be if these to elephants start moving in different directions or start fighting with one another?